Tuesday, August 29, 2017

7-26

How is this something we all go through?

So much of the world was blocked off for me. I am filled with a new awe, a sympathy, admiration, for the human race.

I am guilty of misjudgment. I am full of remorse. I was full of assumptions.

I was pompous with my strength. I was confident in my surety.

I didn’t know or understand.

Around me, people work, live, walk, and I stare at them with wonder, these magnificent creatures of brick and mortar. How many times have they rebuilt themselves? I judged their cracks because my foundation had never crumbled, but I stand in the rubble now and I want to ask for their forgiveness and their aid. My hands are smeared with dirt and full of stones and I do not understand how to piece it back together.

I have been trying, but my shelter won’t seem to hold for long.

All around me, people who have overcome this. I never knew love but I knew I would recognize it when it came. I am ashamed of my naivety. I saw love and I assumed it had come to stay. Silly girl. Foolish girl. Around me, warriors who cried themselves to sleep years ago, or still, or a hundred times. They smile and move through the world. 

How is this something we share? How is this something our minds and bodies become accustomed to?


What horrors have we wreaked that the gods dole out such a punishment, and we smile and move on through the world, smiling, smiling, absorbing the blows.

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