I am jealous. I am resentful.
People who say, “Just trust me.”
What backgrounds have they come from? It throws me, my jaw drops.
Just trust me.
You have to Just Trust Me.
Listen. I don’t have to Just Do anything. This is my lesson. This is what I carry with me.
Trust is earned. Affection is earned. Love is earned. These things must be cared for and kept and cultivated. I am not exempt from this--I do not demand them and think I do not have my own self to prove. Sometimes I fall flat. Sometimes I am too tired to fight for you or for me or for both at once.
The ones that stick with me, they understand. They recognize effort. They know when I need a rest and do not resent me for it.
Strange, the ones that have proven themselves to me. I did not expect them. Some of the ones that failed me, I did not expect them either.
Mistakes are made but life is still a line, a scale. You are a good person or you are a bad person. You are a person to trust or you are not. You are honest or you weigh your truth before speaking it. In between, shades of grey. Still, the feather is placed, the scale tips. The weight of your intention and your desire to change for the better, where does that fall?
Will it matter, when your heart is laid out bare to see and judge, that you meant to be better?
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