Is it
a self-fulfilling prophesy
that I knew
or thought I knew
or just told myself
or believed, at least
that I am a one-love girl
and I went into the world
looking for that one love
and when my body sang
and my soul connected
and my heart jumped
I knew I was right
in my heart
in my believing
in this one love.
And now
I go back into the world
looking again for one love
when I know
when i believe
in my heart
I found it
but it
did not one-love me.
so how do I go on
looking for this love
that I've been promised
by the movies and the books
and the aunts at holiday dinner
and the friends
who say, you deserve this
(and don't I deserve it?)
(don't I work hard?)
(don't I try to be kind?)
(at least try)?
when I already know
or at least think I know
it's an empty search.
and my tables and chairs
will be cold wood
and I will sit on the porch
with a cat on my lap
and a mug of tea
and sweaters that are gradually eaten by moths
and I will be content.
and i think?
that is okay to me now.
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